Parenting often feels like riding an emotional rollercoaster in the dark. One moment everything is going smoothly, and the next, a tantrum sends you spiralling. Life coach, Muara Makarim, is passionate about helping people build happier, more fulfilling lives through a positive self-love and self-care, and she’s sharing practical tips for busy parents who need it most.
As the “default parent” (so often the mum), it can feel nearly impossible to focus on our own needs without the weight of mum guilt creeping in. We make sure the kids are taken care of, the partner is supported, the house is in order, while also somehow trying to squeeze in work and a social life.
But it’s that constant mental load, this endless to-do list, that makes us forget how vital our own well-being is. If our cup is empty, how can we keep filling everyone else’s without eventually burning out?
This is where self-love plays an important role. The truth is, self-love is the oxygen mask on this unpredictable ride – it's something you need first, in order to properly care for those around you.
So, here are some simple steps to nurture the self-love within you, so you can navigate life and parenting better:
Self appreciation, instead of guilt
Each morning, spend five minutes writing down five things you love about yourself. Appreciate your efforts, applaud your accomplishments, celebrate your small wins. Give yourself the credit you so often give to others. For every hurdle crossed, every challenge you’ve overcome. You deserve recognition from you.
Me-time
“Me-time” doesn’t need to look grand spa days (though we wouldn’t say no to one occasionally). It’s about savouring the little pauses and enjoying the pockets of joy in your day. Sip your favourite drink in peace while the kids are asleep, take a short mindful walk, or fit in a five-minute mediation before bed. These tiny moments of joy are fuel for self-love.
Delegate
You are not an octopus! It's okay to ask for help. Share responsibilities with your partner, involve your kids where you can, and lean on your support network- whether that’s family, friends or neighbours. It takes a village to raise a child, and your village is ready to help.
Socialise
Make time to connect with friends, even just once a week. As humans, we are wired for community, and motherhood doesn’t erase that need. Community is a powerful tool for self-compassion and reminding ourselves that we're not alone in this wild ride.
Remember: self-love isn't selfish- it’s essential. By taking care of yourself, you’re showing your children that their well-being matters too.
So, dear exhausted parent, light that tiny spark of self-love. It might just be the brightest thing in your chaotic, beautiful world.
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